Brrrrrrrmmmm, Brrrrrrmmmmm….What the hell is that? Oh, that's the new guy Gary in his TA outside. Gary? Garrett? Who? What? TA Garrett? What an odd name!
That's what they said the first day of practice when this whirlwind Indiana Jones traveler blew in. And he said, "Where's the margaritas? I suck unless I'm drunk. Do you drink?" And there was a big fat YES in response. They were doomed to be stuck together ever since. They tried and tried to get rid of him, but after 1999, TA Garrett was always a part of CIS in some way shape or form.
Believe you me, they tried everything they could, they just couldn't get rid of the fucker. They sent him packing to the Caribbean….he came back. The sent him off to Penn State…he came back. They even deported his ass to Costa Rica…still here. WTF? Even after living in a hut in Africa with the pigmy tribe for two years, he's back. Australia, don't even mention it.
This drunk junk truck can has been playing for something like 16 years – I don't know…16, 17…I don't give a fuck. But for some reason his fingers flying and flailing on the fret board of a ferocious guitar just flattered the flimsy band and they said fine fucker, you're in. While previously in Call In Sick, this imaginative piece of garbage creatively managed to change clothes after every set, had the underwears ripped right off at a birthday party, beer bonged his way to glory, and even slept while eating and broke a plate with his face (as featured in HI magazine) and now, he is back in Call In Sick again to everyone's dismay.
It is rare to find him on stage without some kind of drink by his side and a beer bong ready to go. If you talk to him, be careful not to give him your email address because he might email you to death, since he doesn't really work at work. He also always has his camera to put YOUR picture on facebook, so watch out!